Is this normal for a mother to act?
Okay, so I wanted to know if it’s normal for my mother to act like this. I personally don’t like it, but I want to know if I’m just being a whiny kid or if other people find it abnormal as well.
My report card came home yesterday, and after trying hard and bringing my grades up, I had an A in English and Spanish, an A- in Social Studies, and a B in Math and Science. First thing that comes out of my mom’s mouth when she sees the report card: “Well, the A’s are great and all, but why do you have a B in Math and Science? What did you do badly on? Why?” and as she said those words, my good mood simply floated away. Later that night she emailed all my teachers, asking why I don’t have an A or A+ in every class. My dad thought my grades were fine, good even, and so did all my friends and grandparents. I had a math tutor for one month. No, it wasn’t because my mom finally realized after 3 years that I’ve been struggling with math. She got me a tutor because she wanted me to get into advanced math! She had even said one day, after talking about advanced math, “I want this for you. I really want you to get in, and if you don’t I’ll be pretty disappointed and angry.” The fact that she didn’t listen to me telling her I was struggling for years also goes with this- I did a cartwheel and broke my wrist one day. I complained to her that it hurt, with her only telling me to “Suck it up and stop being a baby”. I also told her that I’d been to the nurse’s at school and they said that it looked swollen. Finally, after 2 days she took me to the doctor where he told me that I had broken my wrist. There are a few things that really hurt me though, like when she calls me a slob, stupid, dirty, a liar, a slut, a bitch, or a sneak. Also, sometimes if I’m on the phone with her and I say something she doesn’t like to hear, she’ll just hang up on me. Another thing that hurts me a whole lot is that whenever I apologize, she doesn’t believe me! I’ll spend 2 hours apologizing to her for even the smallest thing I’ve done wrong, and she’ll brush off my apologies, disregard them, or even sometimes throw a snotty remark back at me. One day, she woke me up by jumping on top of me while I was on my bed. I told her to get off, and she ran from the room, slamming my door behind me. When what had happened set in, I ran after her, crying and apologizing for 3 hours, and she never said she forgave me. I don’t know if this is just me, but also she seems to favor my little brother. She rarely gets angry at him, always takes his side, is always complimenting him and giving him hugs, is always buying him things, et cetera. The one thing she does get on him about though is his spelling test grades. He’s in second grade, and she always tells him on Friday morning (the day of his weekly spelling tests), “If you don’t bring home a 100, you have to sleep outside with no dinner.” The last thing that bothers me though, is that she is constantly on my facebook and AIM screenname! Almost every night, she goes onto my facebook multiple times, looks at my profile, all my friend’s profiles, and the bathroom wall. Whenever I’m on AIM and she comes into the room, she makes me scroll up on the IM so she can read the entire thing. Sometimes, she even tells me not to be friends with someone, and she doesn’t let me fight my own battles. She makes me call her every day after school on the bus home, and my friends have gotten really mad at me because I’m on the phone right after school! It really hurts when she doesn’t forgive me or she hangs up on me or insults me, in fact it hurts me so much that I usually start crying and getting really dizzy. Sometimes it even makes me have the urge to force myself to throw up or cut myself. The fact that she goes through my IMs and facebook makes me feel bad because I don’t think she trusts me enough to tell her about my social life. Whenever I try to talk to her about that sort of thing, she just says to me “You’re 13. I can do what I want with your stuff, shut up."
Sorry it’s so long, I just wanted to fit in all the details.
Also, she goes through my cellphone’s text messages and call logs constantly.
haha just for reference:
i’m not asian, my mom’s not asian.
we’re italian and from the south.
4 Responses
cbrownie
09 Feb 2010
Someone Else
09 Feb 2010
no its not normal. the part where she said “Suck it up and stop being a baby” and “If you don’t bring home a 100, you have to sleep outside with no dinner” means she needs help
BaschaW
09 Feb 2010
no, you’re mom is kinda twisted. Sorry.
I was with her up until she called you names. I have a friend who’s mom calls her bad names then claims she’s "joking" She also was grounded because she woke up one saturday morning and cleaned the house, but didn’t decide to wash the walls.
This is abnormal behavior for a parent. I’m going to vote for talking to a school councelor. The urge to throw up or cut yourself should be enough to get them to help you, but if an adult doesn’t take your side, then you need to keep asking different adults at your school until someone does. (Also mention threatening your brother w/ sleeping outside!)
What she is doing is abuse. It is wrong. Get help!
(why is your father letting her do all of this?!?)
JM
09 Feb 2010
First of all she is allowed to go through your FB, AIM, email, cell phone, etc. And calling her to check in is fine too. You are 13. As for the other stuff sit down with your dad and tell him how this is affecting you. Stop apologizing for her bad behavior. This is abusive. If it continues or gets worse speak to a counselor at school.


You must be Asian. Or at least have an Asian mother. Don’t blame her and cut yourself though, that’s emo and pathetic.